Hello there, y’all! How’s it hangin’? Well, as you might have
CRASH IS BACK!!!
What better Christmas prezzie could you ask for than your
all-time favourite Speccy mag making a grand comeback so you can catch up on
all the gen this festive season? (Anyone who can think of a better prezzie will
be shot, shortly after being boiled in oil!!!) It just shows you can’t
keep a good thing down (madam) — no matter what those other magazines
Before I go on, I must thank our dear friends at Your Sinclair for their
sincerity when they thought CRASH was gone for good. I mean, weren’t they
just dripping with it? (well, they’re always dripping with something
— Nicko). No, Nick, don’t be nasty, after all, they paid us the
biggest compliment in the world when Newsfield went down the swanny —
they liked us so much they tried to... wait for it... Yes, they tried to buy
us! More on that topic in Happenings.
Still, it’s nice to know who your friends are, I suppose, and nice
Gazza Sumpter at Sinclair User really did sound upset about it all, but perhaps
that’s because he remembers his days working on CRASH with fondness.
Well, all that remains to be said now is Happy Christmas and a stupendous
See y’all next month,
What a mug! The new Ed is actually giving the CRASH clan a
chance to say what they think of her while she gives her opinion of them. Well,
matey peeps, make the most of it, ’cos this is definitely a one-off. I
wouldn’t be too nasty, though; don’t make her angry, you
wouldn’t like her when she’s angry...
Nick Roberts • Deputy Editor
Hmm, not a lot I can say, really. So I won’t. Oh all
right, if you twist my arm.
When Lucy started at CRASH she was a shy lass. It took her two weeks to
force herself to take off her raincoat and get down to some serious games
playing. Now she’s ‘let her hair down’, you just can’t
get her away from the computer desk!
Our beloved Ed is charming, witty,
intelligent and lots of other nice adjectives that will help get me a pay rise!
Oh, she’s got a good pair of legs on her, too... (Mark told me to say
Mark Caswell • Staff Writer
Well, what can I say about our new Ed that won’t lose me
my job? (Maybe changing my name to Nick Roberts would be a good start.) In the
couple of months I’ve known Lucy, she’s been very kind to me. I
used to have a very bad stutter, but thanks to her patent ‘wire ’em
to the National Grid’ therapy, I’m totally cured.
Life in CRASH Towers has improved a lot since Lucy arrived. Her wit, charm
and threats to hit everyone in sight has pulled the reviewing team together.
Democracy is a word lacking in the Ed’s dictionary; she rules with an
iron fist that occasionally collides with our heads if we shirk. But it’s
a pleasure to work with such an understanding slave driver... er, I mean
Warren Lapworth • Production Editor
My esteemed colleagues have had to walk the awkward line between
grovelling comments and jokey ‘I don’t really mean it’
insults. Fortunately, as CRASH work isn’t all I do at Europress, I
don’t find myself in such a compromising position (although my weekends
are an entirely different matter...).
However, I can happily and truthfully say Lucy is one of the livelier
editors I’ve known and her jolly disposition compensates for the endless
nagging she subjects us to (hand on heart, I whinge at people for reviews, but
I’m more subtle about it). What do you expect from a woman... (Aaarrgh!
No, stop!! Not the industrial strength bolt clippers! Waaagghhh!!)
Lucy Hickman • Editor
What can I say? I’m touched — touched in the head
for working with this lot! No, they’re a good bunch, really. Mark’s
coming on really well with the electric shock treatment, and as for Nick
‘I’m a ‘sexist pig’ Roberts, since he liked my legs
so much, I hung him out the window by his feet for a night so his legs
would stretch and be as beautiful as mine. He’ll be fine... when he
comes out of hospital. Warren’s a very nice bloke — apart
from being nuts! I don’t mind him singing or muttering to himself all
day, but it gets a bit worrying when he starts swinging from the
chandeliers (especially as we got strip lights!).
OLI FREY’S 1992!
If it’s nearly Christmas, it’s almost 1992
(Euro-year an’ all...), so we commissioned the incredibly world famous
Oliver Frey to do a double-sided poster calendar, just for you. It’s
tucked under the Lemmings poster in the centre, just pull both out carefully
and keep the calendar, because next month you get the second half! Join up this
month’s with January’s (construction instructions included next
munf) and hey presto! — a big action-bustin’, gut-wrenching six
months on either side!